Boobs.

Breasts, Tits, Boobies, Bangers, Bazookas, Honkers, Hooters, Milk jugs…

Whatever you want to call them every man and his dog seems to have an opinion on them because they’re everywhere! Top shelf magazines, bad pornos and absolute monsters like Jodie Marsh have got the majority of the country thinking that ‘Bigger is better’ and consequently you don’t have to look far to find a documentary about some girl wanting a boob job.

Why are they so fascinating to men? Their mums, aunts, sisters, grandmas have them. Hell, even some of their dads have them. I suppose you could argue that its because they don’t have them but I don’t have a dick and yet I don’t feel the need to buy a magazine full of photos of them.

I typed that question into google and came up with a lovely quote from someone on Yahoo Answers:

Why do we like breasts? Cause there warm and snuggly, bouncy an soft freindly and cute,playful,kissable hot an nasty, pointy and happy,round and curvy,squeezable and theres two of them! Usually.

So there we have it: they like them because they’re boobs! The appalling use of spelling makes my eyes bleed, but more on that in another post.

I get comments from both males on females which generally go along the lines of ‘OH EM GEE your tits are huge’. What, do they think I haven’t noticed them yet?! I am fully aware that I have a pair. And yeah they jiggle when I walk. They first made an appearance when I was around 12 I think and so now, 9 years later, its safe to say I’m used to them. I’m not shy of them and I’m not really bothered by comments but what does PISS ME OFF is when complete strangers think its okay to openly stare or comment. I know someone who said that some guy ran up to her in a club, grabbed them and said ‘Oooh you don’t get many of these to the pound do ya?!’ And they say romance is dead…

Being around 5’3 most men have a birds eye view of my cleaveage and cor do they take advantage of that. My reaction flickers between being outraged when my boobs are being talked to and finding it quite amusing how much power these ‘fun bags’ unleash.

A few months ago Rihanna was seen wearing this necklace:

Fuck you

I want it for angry days. That way, when someone is too busy NOT looking at my eyes then I won’t have to waste my breath. They all get their comeuppance though… only last week, I was walking through town and some guy was too busy peering down my top to look where he was going. He tripped up, dropped his phone and hopefully smashed the screen into a million pieces. Now that put a big old grin on my face and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from shouting ‘HA!’.

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